Negative assumptions are a poison to the soul that can destroy brotherhood. We claim to be brothers and sisters, yet our attitudes and words tear each other down. Too busy judging and dwelling on others' faults, we often forget to improve ourselves.
Protect Yourself from Suspicion
Words of the Prophetﷺ
Avoid negative assumptions, for negative assumptions are the most deceitful of speech. Do not spy on one another or seek out faults. Do not envy, turn away from, or hate each other. Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers and sisters.
Book78Ch.7No.6066
Al-Bukhari, M. (2020) Sahih Al-Bukhari. Compiled by M. Mohee Uddin.
Seeing a friend post vacation photos → immediately thinking "showing off their wealth" Read but not replied → immediately thinking "they're ignoring me" Seeing someone's story → "is this a dig at me?" Someone posting charity appeals → "trying to show off (riya’), huh?"
In Surah Al-Hujurat: 12, Allah says: "O believers! Avoid most negative assumptions; indeed, some assumptions are sinful. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite each other. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother? You would hate it! So fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Accepting of Repentance and Merciful.
We can't just blindly follow others, make assumptions, spread information, or take sides without actually knowing the truth. That's why we need to be really careful about what we say and do. Allah warns us that in the hereafter, everything we heard, saw, and felt in our hearts will be held accountable.
Negative assumptions start small, then grow bigger and eventually destroy relationships. At first it's just "I feel like they don't like me," → they're probably saying bad things about me," → and finally "I need to keep my distance from them." When in reality, from the very beginning, it was all just our own assumptions, and the other person didn't even know anything about it. In the end, the friendship falls apart because of negative thoughts we created ourselves.
Sometimes our negative assumptions are actually a reflection of our own insecurities.We see someone succeed and immediately think "they must've cheated" or "their family must be rich," because deep down we feel incapable ourselves :) Or when we see someone post about worship, we say "they're showing off," because we're not consistent with our own worship and feel guilty. So before judging others, ask yourself first: "Could this just be a reflection of my own issues?"
Narrated by Abu Hurairah: Rasulullah (ﷺ) said: “Beware of envy, for envy destroys good deeds as fire devours firewood.”
When there are two possible interpretations, choose the good one. Friend not replying to your message? Maybe they're just busy, not ignoring you. Someone posts about their vacation? Maybe they just want to share their happiness, not show off.This doesn't mean being naive or blind, but choosing to think positively until proven otherwise, which makes our lives much more peaceful.