What is Backbiting?

Words of the Prophetﷺ

Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent.

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Al-Bukhari, M. (2020) Sahih Al-Bukhari. Compiled by M. Mohee Uddin.

I told my friend about their bad behavior, but it really happened though, so is this backbiting?" Questions like this often cross our minds. Many people think that if what they're saying is true, then it's not backbiting. Is this assumption correct?

Backbiting (Ghibah) in the Words of the Prophet MuhammadNarrated by Abu Hurairah: The Messenger of Allah said: "Do you know what backbiting is?" The companions replied: "Allah and His Messenger know best."The Prophet said: "It is mentioning something about your brother that he dislikes." He was asked: "What if what I say is actually true about him?"The Prophet replied: "If what you say is true, then you have backbitten him. But if what you say is not true, then you have slandered him."

This is the most commonly used justification → "But it's true! They really are like that!"The hadith above makes it clear that if what you're saying about someone is true, that's ghibah (backbiting). If it's not true, that's slander, which is even worse.

"Oh, they know they're like that anyway, so it's fine."Even if someone is aware of their flaws, that doesn't mean we're allowed to talk about them to others. Everyone has flaws, but not everyone wants their flaws discussed publicly. This is about respect and protecting people's privacy.

Dishonoring a Muslim is a Major Sin The most severe and most prohibited form of riba is degrading, dishonoring, and humiliating a Muslim without justifiable cause.

In Surah QS. Al-Hujurat: 11, Allah says: "O believers! Do not let some ˹men˺ ridicule others, they may be better than them, nor let ˹some˺ women ridicule other women, they may be better than them.Do not defame one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. How evil it is to act rebelliously after having faith! And whoever does not repent, it is they who are the ˹true˺ wrongdoers."

So What Should You Do? If you really care about someone who's struggling or messing up, talk to them directly, privately and kindly. Don't go around telling everyone else about it. "I've been worried about you, are you okay? Anything I can do?" or "Mind if I share something with you about this?" This approach is so much better because it shows genuine care and actually offers help, rather than just making them the subject of gossip.