Have you ever felt frustrated with the character or behavior of a woman around you, wanting her to change according to your expectations? But Islam doesn't teach us to force people to change. Instead, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught something different, through gentleness, acceptance, and understanding.
Treating Women with Kindness
The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.
Book 9: Chapter 50: Number 1977
Ibnu Majah. (2008). Sunan Ibnu Majah. Translated by Mohammad Mahdi al-Sharif.Do Not Hate Women A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her traits, he will surely be pleased with another.
Being Gentle and Careful Narrated by Anas: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was on a journey, and a servant named Anjasha was singing to make the camels walk faster. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, "O Anjasha, drive the camels gently, for you are carrying glass vessels!" Abu Qilaba explained that by "glass vessels," he meant the women who were riding the camels.
Understanding Women Without Forcing Them to Change Treat women well, for women were created from a rib, and the most curved part of the rib is its upper portion (the part that protects the heart and lungs). If you try to straighten it (force her to change harshly), the rib will break. If you leave it as it is, it will remain curved (staying true to its nature and uniqueness). Therefore, treat women well.
We are strongly encouraged to accept the uniqueness of women's personalities. However, this does not mean tolerating sinful behavior or violations of religious principles. When a woman does something that contradicts Islamic law, reminding and guiding her is an obligation. What is prohibited is forcing change harshly in matters that are not sinful, such as being more emotional, more talkative, or other natural characteristics of women.Encouraging goodness should be done with wisdom and gentleness, not with force or harshness that may push them away from Islam.
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